There is so much to learn from others, yet we often—intentionally or unintentionally—ignore the obvious qualities they possess. We fail to analyze ourselves and identify the scope for improvement — to get better. We tend to cast people in either black or white. And in doing so, we miss out on so much of the white that was hidden in the grey.

Among all the factors that contribute to one’s growth, I want to talk about one that’s often overlooked: learning from people. We are 8 billion on this planet. You will never run short of people around you. It is one of the most underrated sources of learning, growing, and becoming better. It’s astonishing how we can ignore it so easily.

Learning from the Most Obvious Places

In India, it’s not uncommon to find a guard accompanying you in a cramped 2×2 elevator. His job? To press buttons. He does it all day long. And yet, he puts on a smile, asking every guest the same question—“Which floor are you going to?”

Can you imagine asking the same question hundreds of times during a 6-hour shift? Meanwhile, we can’t hold our attention for 10 seconds while watching a Reel. Patience. That’s what he’s teaching. Patience with the situation, finding joy in repetition, joy in helping others. We have the choice to be empathetic toward such people.

Give it a hard thought—why is he not losing his mind with such a repetitive task? How is he not angry, not zoning out? What can I learn from him? Can I ask him how he keeps himself entertained through a day full of so-called “boring” tasks?

If you did ask, he might give you a perspective you’ll never forget. It might even become a turning point. You might start enjoying boring activities. You might no longer find anything boring. Your attention span might grow wider.

But only if you had taken the time to ask. Or at the very least, to reflect. The alternative? You ignore it all, press your floor number, and stay lost in your own thoughts. That’s how easy it is to miss a life-changing moment.

Don’t Discard. Observe.

Take Arnold Schwarzenegger — seven-time Mr. Olympia, one of the greatest bodybuilders of all time.

“Oh, but I’m not into bodybuilding.”
“He used steroids—he’s fake.”
“He came from Austria, a developed country. He had it easy.”

Really?

Arnold dreamed of becoming the world’s greatest bodybuilder at an early age — and he did. He didn’t know English, yet transformed how Hollywood saw bodybuilders. He proved that muscular people didn’t have to be dumb brutes. He became an icon. That’s called perseverance.

See how easily we discredit an entire life story because of a few perceived flaws? Every person has flaws. The real question is: why do we feel the need to either fully idolize or completely reject people?

That’s where we miss out. Learning is not about who’s perfect. It’s about what you can take from someone’s life. Learn, and move on. You don’t need to worship anyone. They’re living their lives. If you find one or two things to learn — that’s good enough.

Learning Through Stories — with Patience

If you truly want to understand people, dive into their stories — not their soundbites.

Biographies and autobiographies are, in my view, the most effective way to learn deeply about someone. These books are rooted in lived experience, making them the most authentic medium of learning. They don’t throw ten lessons at you in every chapter. Instead, they give you one or two — but they stay with you. They come from pain, from effort, from reflection. They’re personal.

My preferred medium is books, because they offer the most detail, the most nuance, and the most truth. Second best, for me, are long-form podcasts — especially the ones that go beyond the hour mark, or better, two. It’s in those long conversations that the masks fall off and people speak from the heart.

Movies based on real lives, documentaries, and even social media can be valuable too — but only if you follow the right sources. Social media can give glimpses into people’s struggles and lives you might never meet — but remember, those are only glimpses. Depth comes from time.

And that’s the key: when it comes to learning, be patient.

We often make the mistake of being in a rush. Wanting answers now. Wanting transformation in five minutes. But authentic learning doesn’t work like that. You need to sit with people’s stories. Digest them. Let them sink in. Wisdom is not a quote — it’s a journey.

One real story can teach you more than ten frameworks.

The Attitude of a Learner

It’s an art — learning from people. And like any art, it demands curiosity, humility, and effort.

You have to let go of ego. You have to accept that nobody is perfect. You have to remind yourself: this is for your own good, not their validation.

It’s a life-changing habit — getting curious about others’ lives. Not to gossip, not to judge, but to learn. Learn from their mistakes. Learn from their wins.

If we focused more on why rather than how, we’d unlock so much more.

Why did APJ Abdul Kalam want to be a scientist?
Why did Arnold want to become a bodybuilder?
Why did Mother Teresa devote her life to helping others?
Why did Hitler do what he did?

To know why, you have to understand the person.
The how is easy — just Google it.
The why is never a quick search away. It demands attention. It demands empathy.

Every person is a story waiting to be read. You will never run out of learning material — as long as you’re open to learning.

Next time you meet someone new, ask them one question.
Not to reply — but to learn.